Because of Her love towards Him

A guy and a girl was having a wonderful relationship. The guy's name was Justine and the girl's name was Anna. Justine is totally ill due to an heart failure but Justine didn't told Anna about it. Justine only had few days to live according to his personal doctor. Justine didn't want to tell Anna because Justine doesn't want Anna to get worried and cried about it. So one day where it is Justine last day to live with Anna, Justine brought Anna for a ride in the city. In the car, Justine asked a question towards Anna. On the same time, Anna felt something is not right about Justine. The question was like this, "Anna. Seriously, do you love me like how i love you right now?" Before Anna answered Justine's question, Anna ask a question as well. "You're keeping a secret from me. I could feel that you're not telling me something." Instead of answering Anna's question, Justine repeat his question once more. "Answer me Anna. Do you love me like how i love you right now?" So Anna answered "Yes. I do love you as much as you love me too. You are everything to me in my life and i will never search for another guy as a replacement but just being with you forever even if you die." Then immediately she asked Justine "Why are you asking me this question?" Again Justine did not answer Anna but suddenly stop the car somewhere that is up hills. Then, Justine and Anna came out of the car and went in front of the car. Justine kiss Anna on Anna's lips and both of Anna's chick with a hug after that and said "I thank and appreciate you of what you said. I love you so much and forever i will" With a sudden, Anna drop her tears to the ground with no reason. "What is going on? Please tell me." said Anna. Again Justine did not answered Anna's question. Instead of answering, Justine and Anna went in the car. Justine drove down the hill with a speed that keeps on increasing by itself. Next thing, Anna found herself lying on the hospital bed. As soon as Anna awakes, Anna immediately asked about Justine. Asking is Justine alright. Anna's parents gave a newspaper and showed Anna a picture of a couple had a terrible accident. Anna saw the car number was Justine's car. She read the article about it. The reporter wrote " A couple named Justine and Anna had a terrible crash due to break failure. Justine is to believe the driver was in coma situation while Anna was badly injured and unconscious. Justine and Anna was rush to the hospital and immediately went into the wad room. Anna had a broken leg, neck and arm and is to believe will be fine in a few months. Doctors find out that Justine suffer from a heart failure and it was Justine last day to live......." After reading the article, Anna cried so badly. Anna now knew the reason why Justine asked Anna a question in the car before the incident happen. Anna finally knew that Justine's love is the precious love towards Anna's life and precious heart. Anna promise herself that Anna will not find another person and cherish the perfect moment and memories with Justine.

Self-Sacrifice for my love ones!

Been forced to join some organization which people have to a choice to either to join or not. SHE was there with me as well. In my dream, i'm having a relationship with HER. Both of us were so in love towards each other, caring and happy. A few of my friends were been captured in a small hall where i were able to see them from the outside and i'm the only person that could get in the hall. I was kinda in charge and is the leader among everyone. SHE was in that hall as well. I got so worried about her till the organization people knew that i'm with HER. No cops or else lots of friends of mine in the hall wii be in trouble. I was so worried especially HER. I could barely think anything except saving HER from getting hurt. While thinking, i went for a walk. A gas station was nearby. Then, something came up in my mind. I have to sacrifice myself to safe everyone especially HER. So i poured myself with the gasoline and bring along a Zeepo lighter. Immediately i went in the hall with my wet and smell of gasoline body along with Mr. Zeepo. "If you don't let them all free, i'll burn myself together with you all and bring you all with me to dine in hell forever!!!". SHE was so afraid that i'll kill myself to safe everyone. I forced HER to go out and said "I'll be fine". One of my friend who were out the hall called the cops earlier on. While waiting for the cops to come, i was in the hall with the organization people. Mr. Zeepo was already lighted. They were all afraid to be burn in hell with me. That dream, that evening, I nearly sacrifice myself just for HER safety. I love HER so much! How i wish that 'SHE' knew that it's HER. You were in my dream J.F. Or should i say P.J!

Princess Joanna

I'm so glad that you've receive it. Well i wasn't thinking of buying anything for anyone during Valentine though but something came up in my mind. To be honest, your name pop-up on my mind suddenly i said "i need to buy her a valentine's gift. I don't care if she is not my gf or not, as long as i love her so much. That is all it matters in my life". I'm missing you so much as well. I wouldn't think that you would putting my name in your blog saying thanks and everything. and princess, you don't have to say sorry for not meeting me during LSS. You were not suppose to say sorry, it's not your fault even. It's no one's fault okay. We can meet some other time right. It's not that i'm gonna die or something right =D Well, if i do die, then miss me tons alright =) Having difficulty times for me it is right now but hey... It's life rite. Anything can happen. All i want is you to be there with me and keep on supporting me in whatever i'm doing alright. That is all i'm asking from you. Not more than that. & and if i do come back to miri, i'll let you know alright. You'll be one of the first person to know that i'm going back to miri alright. love you so much princess! muahxx!

I MISS && LOVE PRINCESS JOANNA SO MUCH

My HoNesTy

Today is easter sunday. Which mean, happy easter everyone! Hehe. Anyway, i just wanna tell my honesty to everyone that doesn't think that i'm a honest person. Well, here goes. This early morning i went to church. After church, there was lots of sales booth around the church. So i went around to take a look. Wanted to buy the church T-Shirt but i didn't bring enough money. So i saw this food called 'Bak-Chang'. It's like a 'pulut' with sambal inside it. So i bought 3 bak-chang. I wanted to buy 5 but my money just enough for emergency. So i bought 3 only. 1 cost Rm2.00. Which all together is Rm6.00. I suddenly get back the change of Rm6.00 in my hand. I was curious then. I was trying to figure it out. Am i the one who count wrongly or they gave me Rm6.00 mistaken. So i went back to the bak-chang stall and asked them how much is it 1 of the bak-chang. They told me it's Rm2.00 for 1. So i immediately gave back to her my change and said "You gave me Rm6.00 in return while i should have Rm4.00 actual price right?" They suddenly say "Oh ya. Sorry and thank you." After taking back my change, i went back home. While on my way to my motorbike, i overheard them saying "he's honest" which make myself proud of being honest and not to lie. I admire myself for being honest and starting from that i'm trying changing my own attitude to be good.

Actually i don't know what to say right now but i feel like posting something for my blog as an update post. Gosh. This month is a hard month for me. I kinda shrunk my grades in college. I only get 57% in Financial Accounting and 52% in Information for Management Control. Kinda a bit hard thought. But i was relieved that i got my Macroeconomics 96% Which is one of the highest mark in my class. Blah's! But still i am not happy with my other Accounting course subject. I so suck at it this time. Now i need to get more higher grades for my final exam of this second Semester. Aah~!!! Anyway, another dream occur again last night. Frequently having dreams these days. I wonder why. Hm. Ta ta. That's all for now. Daaa

This days i always get lots of dreams. I always dream of something weird. So weird that wouldn't ever happen in life. But i kinda wonder, why did i dream this kind of dream. As soon as i fell asleep, weird dreams appear in my mind. As if it would really happen. I tried to figure it out but i just can't. I can't explain why is this happening. Sometimes i dream about my cousin who are in trouble and i am always there for them. I could even hug them in my dreams. Sometimes i could just laugh in reality during my sleeping time. I realised that i smiled and laugh in reality, so i woke up and asking myself. What am i laughing and smiling without reason? Hm. Recently i had lots of dreams. Before i never had this kind of dream continuously every night. Dreams keep on changing. I could even sweat like hell when i woke up from dreams. I could even suddenly cry when i woke up after having a dream. And sometimes i could get worried after a dream that consist of my friends and family. In dreams they are in trouble and sometimes it could happen in reality as well. *Sighs* Why is this happening to me in my fantasy world and my reality world?

CuT cUt CuT!

Last friday i went to the barber shop. Guess what, i wanted to cut my hair and color my hair. Instead of doing that, i cut my hair and do treatment on my hair. I was like "Wth! When will i color my hair then?" The barber boss told me that i can only color my hair by next week. Treatment and coloring my hair can't do in the same day. I was like so down. Now i have to wait another week then i can color my hair. *sigh* Anyway, i was thinking of coloring my hair Fire Red but i took a picture of myself with some original effect by the light, i saw my hair was purple on the side of my hair. Then i suddenly think what if i color my hair both Fire Red and Purple. Not mixing color but front Fire Red then a bit back of my hair i wanna color Purple. I wonder how is it gonna be? Is it good or what? Hopefully it's perfect for my hair though. Bleahs!

Exciting Weekend (07/03-10/03 2008)

The day i just camp to miri for the weekend i feel so happy to be back. The picture above is on saturday where we had so much fun outside and inside. If you know what i mean. Barry, im sure you know what i mean right. LoL! Anyway, i had lots of fun that time. Sleepless and drinking is all we do. Haha. First night we didnt sleep at all just to take care of people who are in the camp. LoL!

Here is the funny part. The first night we were told to look after the confirmers. So we did. In their middle of sleeping, we check every each room. Suddenly we went to this room and guess what, a boy sleeping with his hands in his pants. Haha! Barry, Gabriel and i laugh like hell then Barry asked me to take photo of this kid hands in his pants. The 3 of us was wondering. What is he dreaming about that night? LOL! Dude! It's hillarious you know! LoL!

This place is the toilet way the 3 of us do our thing. Hehe. If you all get what i mean. Barry, Gabriel you both should know what i mean right. LoL. The first picture i took it at the canteen. Behind there is the picture of the toilet where we do our own project without letting people knowing. Whereas the second picture is a picture that I AM NOT PEEING! Haha. The water came out from the barrier. it has a hole above of the barrier. I asked Barry to take this picture. It's kinda funny thought. LoL!

The 3 picture above is my last night in miri where i got the chance to perform in front of 131 students aka confirmers for this year. Picture took by Barry, our camera man for the night. LoL. Barry, don't think i get all the credit by myself do you? LOL. Anyway, thanks to you bro. I couldn't don't much without you. By the way, that is the night where Barry, Gabriel and i get the credit and lots of compliment from Auntie Margaret for helping and coming back once again for the church. Hehe. I feel so 'bangga' already that night =b Haha. LoL! Anyway if anyone wanna check out the video of the senior group singing that night, you all can check it out in youtube. Here is the Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meS4pde2KtI

I'm standing on the edge waiting for you to come

.:Theodoric:.

.

A girl like you is impossible to find in this world. Stand on the edge with me. That is all i'm asking from you and i'll hold on your hands tight. Forever i'll be with you and together the both of us discover our world. Please give me a change to tell you how i was feeling and i'll never let you go out of my side. I'll look in your eyes and convince you that i will never let you go. Tonight will be the night that i would fall for you. I swear that i'll never fall apart and i will not change my mind on you. I'll hold on to your words and i will always love you for eternity. This second, this minute, this hour, this day, this week, the year and most importantly, this moment i will love you more than you know. Your face reminds me of the shinning star up upon the sky that appears at night together with the bright moonlight. If i could just stop the clock at least for a few seconds to enjoy the night lying down the ground and watch the stars shine so beautiful as how you shine my life by changing my stars into something extraordinary. Something extraordinary that would be a beautiful memory to be remember for life! I could just smile in my dream thinking about it while the moonlight shines to my bedroom.

Sometimes i kinda missing holding hands. I miss the time where i used to hold her hands tight so that i won't let her go. But i went to the wrong path. I let her hands go. I shouldn't let her hands drop from my hands. That was my very mistake that i will regret for ages. I can't believe i just let it go. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. Now you are seeking help from me. Asking help from me about what should you do in certain situation especially in your love relationship. I didn't want to help you at first because i still like you every since i let you go but i have no choice except to help you. I don't want you to have a heart broken relationship. I'm willing to do anything to help you with your life. If i'm lucky to have you back, i will love you forever than before. Now it is too late for me to love you till forever because i've let you go out of my hands. How i wish i could turn back time and be with you since the day i'm with you till forever. I would be so happy to be in that relationship. Each day, you are getting pretty. I just had to lose you from my grip. I should have just keep your hands in my palm. And i wouldn't have to be lonely like right now. If i could just tell you the truth that i still like you. Would you still accept me? I may not be the perfect face you want but maybe my heart of face those look perfect to you. If i could just have the guts to tell the truth to you once again. The thing is, i always get the fear of rejection. How i which you were able to read what i've written down in this blog of mine & let you read everything about the truth. The truth about my heart are still within your life. Lots of mistake i've been doing in my life and i can't do anything about it except accepting this 'Karma' that God have given to me and let me be punish for years. I still love you so much and i miss you so much. Every time you miss called me, i would be so happy to call you back and talk to you. I would be so happy to talk to you on the phone for hours. Unfortunately i still can't tell you the truth about what i am feeling right now.

I should have shoot myself when i had the chance

It's crushing my bone in my head! This month was the worst month ever. All i got myself into was a nightmare. Super challenging month. Ouch! Exams, relationship problems and a lot more that i myself couldn't list out. Hope that next month would be much better. These month i've been so EMO! I'm trying to be an hyper boy to everyone but every each day, my life gets damn. From the morning breeze till the break of dawn. New month for tomorrow and i hope that new month gonna spice up my life. If not, i'm sure gonna be crazy of being so emo! Anyway, i kinda miss her. I wanna talk to her and even texting message to her but i'm afraid. I'm afraid that she'll ignore me. Every each day i keep worrying about her. Every moment i keep thinking of how is her life going on right now. I can never get the answer by myself except she alone communicate with me. If she gave me a message or a miss call, i would totally be freaking happy and crazy. By that text message or miss call, i could say that she still remembers me and even still know that she will always be right beside me even though she is busy. I'll just have to wait for 'that' text message or miss call. Even if it took for years. I'll wait as long as i life. God i miss her so much!

Let me be alone from now on

"What the hell?! What are you doing here?! You know Vic? You never told me. Why?! What the fuck! He has one already! So as Byran! Why do you have to choose them? Did you think about me at all? Did you ever think how i feel if i knew they were the people that back stabbing me? Did you??!! You know what, forget about it! I wanted to bring you guys for lunch since i'm going back to where i belong soon. But now i've seen the real character of you guys, i felt very very disappointed. So as you girl! I didn't expect that you would know him as well. I like you so much and you like them because of their look only! Who should i trust now? I can't trust anyone no more. Byran, you are like a brother to me! How could you?! I can't believe you'd do this to me! How could you double crossed me! Vic, you are one of a thousand friends of mine that i've trusted. Why did you do this to me? You have yours already. Why did you have to be with her as well? I can't understand why. Everything in this world, both of you would be the last person i suspected. Mag, you don't even bother if he is with you in the same time with her? How pathetic! What a slut you are! Seems don't care about it at all. You shouldn't be love by anyone! I feel so sorry for the four of you! You know i love you so much then again you make my life miserable! Still not enough of what you have done to me is it??!! I can't believe what i am seeing right now. Since you want it to be this way, i'll vanish from your life for good and forever but i'll always love you forever. It seems that four of you as my friend are double crossing me huh. I just couldn't believe it. I'll vanish from now onwards so that you nor i myself wouldn't hurt my own feelings after what i've seen. I'm OUT OF HERE!" Next thing four of them shouted " Job! We're sorry. We didn't mean to do this to you. Job! Come back! Come back!" As i walk further and further, my tears felt onto the ground. Ignoring their voices as well. They had crush my heart so badly till i have to vanish from their life completely so that i won't feel the pain and i won't feel so frustrated over it.

Then i woke up. real tears fall down on my face to the ground. It was a nightmare but the dream was telling me something. Something that gotta do with move aside from their life and not to interfere their life anymore. I guess I'd gonna do that because i don't wanna be hurt as how it shows in my dream. I'll forgive the four of you but i'll never forget what have you four done to me. If this comes to reality, it would be a scar in my mind and would be a shadow of my dreams every night i sleep for the rest of my life. That would be miserable enough after what the four of you had done to me and i hope you're happy about it!

Umm, i cant'w wait to go back for the camp. I wanna enjoy my weekend for this LSS camp. Been missing camping a lot! Ahh~~~ Well, i hope to meet everyone when i'm back. Not everyone but most of them especially the church member. I hope that i'm gonna perform as well. Thought my voice are not that good like other singer but i wanna try my best shot! It's been so long i've been practising. So hopefully i'll do good on that day. In two weeks time, i'll be singing for you My Lord Jesus. So be prepare to see your Son on Stage to Praise and Worship you!

Read the pictures Continuously and You'll Understand

I don't give a damn thing about this feelings anymore. I don't care if it really exist anymore because no one shows me the true meaning of this BullShit words! If i fall for you and you fall for me, maybe it will show me the true meaning of this fcuking words in the pictures! I'm so pissed off almost everyone but i pretend not to get piss off. I don't want anyone to know what am i feeling right now. "You okay de ma?" "Are you ok Jobby?" "Your message kinda different" Everyone seems to ask me what the hell is wrong with me. "I'm suprise you'd even care or get worried of me". That is what i answered to someone. It's almost a month you all didn't contact me and did you remember anything about me while i'm not around in front of your freaking eyes? I guess not. Suddenly you all seems to care about me. Worried about me. All the time when i'm away, i've keep missing you all. Keep on thinking about you all. You all never cared even. Don't even bother to asked how am i doing here? Do you all think that i'm so fcuking happy when i'm away from you all? NO!!! I'm so lonely without you all! I'm trying my best to go back just for the sack of you guys and girls. What did i get for a retun? Forget about me when i am totally gone even for a second. That is what i get. What the Fcuk! I am so pissed off till i can't describe how pissed off am i. Pissed of shit! Bastard! Fcuk off la! You never consider my feelings! "I love you" is so pissing me off. If i coul just cut off my heart and let it bleed till i fcuking torture myself! Ahh~~~ Fcuk off! Fcuk off! Fcuk off!

Creepiest Night in My Life!

Yesterday night was my creepiest night ever! I was on the phone with my friend. It was midnight. We both was talking about 8 minutes plus. Suddenly an anonymous voice shattered on the phone. I was talking with an Malay girl whom i don't even know. At first i thought it was my friend's cousin. So i didn't know anything much. She was saying " Sapa tok?" I was like "huh... Job.?." she was sorta blurr. She just said "huh??? Sapa tok?" She keep on repeating trying to find out who am i. I was kinda blurr so i keep on saying my name. I wanted to say " Jobby la" but i didn't because there was someone calling my phone on the other line. So i asked that anonymous malay girl to call me in 5 minutes time. Suddenly i kinda feel weird. The second caller that who are calling me was the same number as the first number. Which was my friends number. So i answered. She suddenly said "Sorry. Network problem just now." I was like "Huh? What do you mean by network problem? I was talking with your cousin on the other line few seconds ago" She immediately said "huh? What are you talking about? I'm the only one who call you. There is no other line besides these line and this is the only phone for this number." I was blurr for a moment and asked her "Then if you were the only person who called me and who is the malay girl that talk to me just now? Isn't that your cousin?" She answered "my cousin are asleep already." Then i kinda freak out that moment. I kinda talk to a stranger who i don't even realise at all! Was it something that i am not suppose to talk with or something is disturbing me? Damn! I kinda still wonder who i that and how come i could talk to that person without noticing? Freaky!

This morning on my way back from the city for breakfast, my nephew tell us (me, my cousin and my aunt) about his classmate. My nephew's name is Shane Noel. The story was like this. He was saying that his friend asked him to buy something for him. Then we asked him "Is your friend name Mathew that asked you to buy something for him? Did he gave you his money to buy the stuff?". He answered "Yes he did gave me his money but his name is not Mathew. His name is Shawn" After hearing he said the name of his friend. I suddenly think of someone that has a similar name as her. A girl name Sonia was the person that suddenly appear in my mind. Her nickname in her blog was Shawnea. Which is just add in "EA" in Shawn's name. I kinda miss her actually after for so long didnt meet her or even contact with her. I wonder is she doing fine or not. Kinda curious tho. Anyway, just wanna let Sonia know that i kinda miss Sonia ever since i've not contact her. I didn't contact with her is because i'm afraid that i'm disturbing her while she is busy. Hmm. *sigh*

Yesterday in college i learn something from my lecturer, Mdm Eva. She gave our class 2 situation about making decision in life that is connected with love and regrets of life for making the wrong decision. The situation was something like this: "A man who are in his early thirties have a great career, great car, nice house and lots of friends. Ever since last time, all he thinks that his career is more important than anything. Having a family in his life would disturb his ladder of success. After awhile, he fell doubt about his life right now. He is wondering did he make a correct decision on not having a family? Sometimes he felt lonely when he went back home after work." This was the situation that Mdm Eva gave. Well, sort of. Anyway, Mdm Eva asked us to write about that man. We pretend to be that man and tell the whole class, what did you regret the most? Well i answered that i should had a second thoughts on making my career as my first priority and if i hadn't break up with my spouse, i would have my own family right now. I should have married my spouse few years back. By now, i would have a romantic wedding anniversary and watch my children graduate and end their education life. That was my answered. From that moment, i've realise something. I shouldn't break up with my girlfriend. The girl that really likes me before but i didn't like her at all but only like her as a friend. After form 5, i started to see my ex-girlfriend more often than before and she is getting beautiful ever since i break up with her. I was so stupid to break up with her. She was perfect! She was a loyal girlfriend i've ever had but i didn't realise that. How i wish i could have her back. It would be wonderful enough to be with her as a soulmate. Unfortunately, i let her go without any tears or any sadness but i let her go with lots of regrets. I shouldn't do that to her. I should love her as how she love me. Anyway, i'm sure you all are curious who is that person right? Well her name is.... *talking in my own mind*..."should i tell or just keep it as a secret? Bleash! It's an old memory, just tell!" *making a decision to tell everyone* Well, here goes... Her name is Phoebe Woodford. Phoebe, if you are reading this blog, i'm truly sorry for what i've done before and would you forgive me? I miss judge you by the way u act before, the way you make your own life and the way you treat me before. You didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who wants to break off because i don't feel right on playing love games on you and not serious when i'm with you. I'm Sorry.

Today i kinda feel different about something in me and i don't know what is it. I guess i can't really stand watching people kissing with full of love. Not only that, i feel that 'she' don't love me like how i love her till now. I wanna feel your arms around me and hold me tight so that i could feel your love once again. You don't know that i miss everything about you. It's been almost a month i've not text you or asking how are you. It seems that you don't really care if i do ask how are you doing or anything. You don't even bother to text me back before and now. I just can't believe that i've been forgotten just because of that incident. Everyday i've keep missing you and keep thinking of you all time. My smile are just fake upon these days. It seems that i don't recognise your face anymore since the day you have let me out of your life. I may have your pictures in my head but i wonder, is that picture in my head are the same picture on your face right now? There is a words that i've heard a lot and that is "Once in a life time means there is no second chance". These words sometimes can be true. Once in a life time seeing you being happy with me and that was the only last time i saw your smile rise to the sky. As far as i know, you couldn't smile even your friends make you laugh. You only laugh just for a moment then a sad face once again appear. If i could only come into your life, i would probably make you smile every single day, every single moment when i'm around with you. That is my promise and i won't break my promise and i'll prove to you how much "YOU" mean to me.

When will i have it?

It's hard to feel left out when in terms of being lonely. I just wanna feel how other couples feel. How it feels to be cared by someone who will love you? I can never had the chance to feel what does loves is all about? How does it feels? Why can't i have these kind of relationship with others? Everyone seems to had an awesome relationship and i don't. Explain to me what is love are all about? Define it to me. I need a companion to share my life with. Not as a friend, siblings but a special relationship. Everyone seems to say positive stuff about me and i should be in a relationship already. Unfortunately, i'm not having any relationship at all for the pass few year. Thanks for saying something positive about me girls and boys but i am still not in a relationship with anyone? Is there anything wrong about me? If there isn't, then how come i am not similar to other couples? Sometimes i would feel jealous. Jealous of watching couples being together. I myself also wanna feel how it's like to be in a special relationship? I would just shut the hell up and pretend to be happy. Inside my heart i felt so jealous and i felt like i am not worth to someone in this world. How sad is that huh?.. Wish that i am in a special relationship like other couples. =(

What had happen to us?

I mean we both were just fine in the beginning. Suddenly everything seems to change completely. I don't understand why is this happening? Did i do wrong or make something that you didn't like? You don't know how much i miss you so much. I could even barely think of other stuff except thinking of you. Do you think my smile are always in my heart as how my smile are shown on my face? The answer would be NO! My smile on my face was just a fake because i am crying all the time whenever i am thinking of you. I wish to see you once again. I wish to talk to you once again. I wish to feel your appearance in my existing life because right now i feel that your existance is not around and i can't feel your living soul in my life. I feel empty without you. Not a single word i heard from you after a fatal tragic happens. Beneath my heart, i am lonely without you. You have gone and vanish from my life without a sound. Your whisper usually calls me to please you but not anymore. It's just not the same when you're not around as before it was. One small thing could change the whole world of life. That is what happen in my life. You are missing in my heart and that change the whole thing in my world of life. It doesn't feel the same anymore after you're vanish. I keep on searching for you but all i seen was the shadow of your pictures. I keep on looking for you and all i got is the voice of a friend saying that you're not around anymore like before. It feels so different. I feel so 'unwanted' like before. I assume that you don't feel the way i feel right now. You wouldn't know how it feels to be left out and to be alone without you in my life. You're disappearance makes me useless for living. I need you to be there for me no matter where or what. As long as you are always there for me like i did. I will always there with you no matter what will happen. When you're down, i am the one who comfort you like i always did but you didn't know what is my purpose on comforting you. You didn't realise that i was always there for you. You keep on ignoring me that is why you didn't know my existance on comforting you. All you think was i am just saying the words of being there for you all the time but i never show up. Actually i was the first and one of the person who always there for you only that you were busy with other people's life and not mine. How could you think such thing? I was totally always there for you and you said that i don't even care if there is anything happen to you. You were wrong. I was there for you and i should say that you weren't there forme when i am in totally chaos of my life. Come on, you was too busy to ignore me even a second pass by your life. I wonder if i am gone, will you even care? Most probably.... NO! Ahh~~~ You words are just a fake and a lies which i should have notice it ever since before. All the promise that you've made to me was just a lies as well. My promise to you were never a lies. I kept my promise and i accomplish my promise. What about you? Do you keep your promise like i do? I guess not ='(